Conflicted

Posted 11-21-2007 at 01:44 PM by stiney51

I tend to be a very happy guy, so part of me hates posting things like this, but then again it's healthy to talk about stuff that makes you uncomfortable...

3 days ago my wife called me from work (she works in a hospital). An old co-worker of hers had come in to the ER with an infection and ended up not making it (apparently she didn't have a spleen to help fight the infection). She was 30 years old (same age as my wife) had a 3 year old and a 4 month old (our kids are 20 months and 8 months). Needless to say this hit home very hard.

On the one hand I'm very sorry for this person's family and especially for her kids. I met her once and she was very nice, and from what my wife tells me she was the type of parent who would do anything for her kids and talked about them all the time.

Now on the other hand, part of me is fighting to stay disconnected from the story as I did not know this person or her family. I'm afraid this stance is winning over here and I don't know that I like it. I mean you can't change what happened and dwelling on things never helps, but shouldn't I feel more remorse that someone my wife knew who had a loving family died so young?

Perhaps that uneasiness is enough of a tribute. After all it has made us more thankful for what we have.

I'll be more cheerful next post, hope I didn't bring others down with me.

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I think that it depends on how much a person has touched your life. as to how bad it feels when you loose them.
you said that you only met her once but that she worked with your wife,
perhaps in this situation, you would be more suited to helping your wife through her feelings since you have less attachment to the deceased.

it dosent make you a stoic monster.

perhaps you could do something for the family.

(sorry if I butted in where I shouldn't have)

Posted 11-21-2007 at 07:48 PM by supertackyman supertackyman is offline

	I think your feelings are right on the money for someone you were not acquainted with. Of course your wife would feel differently because she was closer to the woman on a regular basis. It's situations like this that make you aware of what you have in your life. Tacky's comment regarding helping your wife through this could not have been better said.
	Posted 11-24-2007 at 12:43 PM by class_act