I think it's an improvement, but I've attached more of what I was suggesting. The silhouettes and the white space (black space in this case
) should stand out in the design.
You might also want to play with a slightly different font or maybe try to not italicize the whole thing.
You are on the right track with this and I think even the first versions were a very good start.
(by the way, I like the drummer best out of the 4 silhouette options, but using 4 versions would be pretty cool).