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I like the idea of the 2nd concept. I think you should abandon the pen'd type though. The balance shouldn't be thrown off with the "L" instead of the "l" if you have the letters closer together.
The type you choose needs to be bold and stand out, but should really stand out on its own as well. There's nothing wrong with using a more plain font and jazing the logo up with your design.
Consider starting with black & white (greyscale) before adding the color. When you take your existing design and convert it, it loses a lot of appeal and the type gets a little lost in the overall design.
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